"Marriage is sowing ground where you sow your patience, love and enthusiasm, and watch it multiply in those around you who celebrate your presence." - Dr. Mike Murdock.
God loves marriage. He hates divorce. Marriage is not a mere reproduction center for human babies.
God Will Never Give You A Gift That Will Replace His Presence. That is why a mate is not designed to produce your joy. The presence of God creates your joy.
“In Thy presence is fulness of joy,” (Psalm 16:11). Fullness implies “requiring nothing in addition.”
Your mate is a gift from God to you. That gift is intended to:
1) protect your focus,
2) reduce distractions,
and
3) create a climate of protection.
Focus Often Creates Blindness.
When you are looking north, you cannot see south. Someone else is needed for your protection.
So, God provides the gift of a Mate. Everything we'll talk about begins with THINK TWICE...
They are just designed to stimulate your thoughts on the person you have as a partner.
Thinking about them with God's word, to help you define your relationship and know exactly some of the informed decisions to make.
1. Think Twice If You Do Not Possess A Passionate Desire To Give To Them.
The Proof of Love Is The Desire To Give.
Jesus explained it. “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son,” (John 3:16).
Too often, marriage becomes an exchange. Exchange is the evidence of business, not love.
You should desire to give Time, the greatest gift God gave you.
The Proof of Uncommon Love Is The Investment of Time.
2. Think Twice If They Do Not Possess A Passionate Desire To Give Back To You.
I am not referring to expensive gifts, huge amounts of money or clothes.
A listening ear, flexibility, patience and the willingness to be corrected are gifts.
When good things happen, who is the first person you desire to telephone? Pay attention to that.
Celebration Is A Compass. Those you love to celebrate with are clues to the puzzle of your life.
When uncommon love exists, uncommon celebration is normal. Uncommon love does not compete with the success of another.
It tastes and savors and enjoys the pleasure of another.
Who are their heroes? You become like those you admire. You adapt the habits of those you envy.
Who is their dominant Mentor? At whose feet do they sit consistently? A Mentor is a prophecy of a Protégé.
If they rebel against the counsel of their pastor, they are living undisciplined, uncovered and unadvised. Tragedy is scheduled.
Think Twice.
Improvement is revealed by the decrease of conflict. Conflict occurs through opposite goals, philosophies or beliefs.
Bonding should increase unity and bring a decrease in contention and strife.
Strife Is The Evidence of Opposite Belief Systems. If they are always disagreeing with you on almost everything, and creating so much confusion in the relationship, THINK TWICE.
Those who are truly repentant truly hurt. Repentant people are not arrogant.
Repentant people do not blame others for their decisions. Memories of mistakes should produce sorrow and heartache.
When regret is not expressed, the offense usually occurs again. Some people never repent for past mistakes. Why?
They have not tasted the painful consequences of their rebellion. They do not possess a true fear of God. They believe they are beyond judgment.
It is futile to pursue a relationship with someone who does not possess an obvious fear of God.
Uncorrected Conduct Becomes Repeated Conduct. The fear of God keeps a mate faithful. Beauty will not.
One lady explained to me, “I will keep myself so beautiful, he will not even look at another woman.” How can you say that! Your beauty does not make another woman ugly. Beauty cannot guarantee faithfulness. The fear of God keeps us faithful.
7. Think Twice If They Have Not Exited Previous Relationships Peaceably.
Many thrive on strife. They will destroy anything they cannot own or control. Peace bores them. Silence nauseates them. Warfare is their fuel.
They will speak any words necessary to find the boundary lines and limitations around them. It will be impossible to have an enjoyable marriage with them.
8. Think Twice If Their Parents Have Contempt For You or Your Assignment In Life.
The bloodline is more powerful than anyone can imagine. It is a spiritual thing. It is a spirit connection. God arranged it Himself.
So, you may marry a rebel who even despises his parents...but when crisis comes, he will reach back to the bloodline for affirmation.
If you marry someone whose parents look condescendingly upon you because of your lack of education, social class or finances remember that they will be the third party always speaking into the heart of your mate.
9. Think Twice If They Feel Inferior To You.
True, everyone is superior to others in some way. But, it is important that those who walk beside you feel confident, qualified and called of God to be your Mate.
Don't marry anyone you do not respect. Don't marry anyone you are not proud of.
10. Think Twice If They Are Uncomfortable In The Presence of God.
As I told one of my sisters, you can date a man who is handsome, has developed muscles and throws you a rose to watch you dive - but if he hates the presence of God, there is no hope of greatness ever being birthed within him.
The man you see will never be more than what he is today.
Every preacher will become his rival. He will become intimidated by your church attendance.
When you come home late after a Wednesday night service, he will accuse you of meeting somebody “on the side.”
Unsaved men are often intimidated by believing men because they know in their heart that a man who walks with God has something they lack.
11. Think Twice If You Only Enjoy Them During Your Moments of Weakness Instead of Your Moments of Strength.
One woman explained to me, “I don’t really want to be with him. I feel very vulnerable around him but, I am often lonely. So, when I get so lonely I can’t stand it—I accept his invitation for a date.”
Some relationships exist because of mutual weakness, rather than mutual goals.
12. Think Twice If You Cannot Trust Them Around Your Closest Friends.
Flirtation is deadly. The death of many marriages begins with flirtation. It is not harmless. Ever.
I believe these few suggestions will help you on your journey of dating and marriage.
Kind regards,
JOHN ARTHUR
PRESIDENT, SOF
(Source for writeup: The Law Of Recognition, Dr. Mike Murdock)
FAQ