Learning To Be A Friend To Your Partner In Dating And Marriage

 

"Friends learn to live with each other." - John Arthur

It takes many years of sharing our lives together in order to create a successful and lasting relationship. If you are the type who easily gives up on people, it will be very difficult to have a lasting relationship with others. 

William Shakespeare said, “A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow.” 

"If we're going to be friends with our partners we have to create the atmosphere that enables them to grow." - John Arthur. 

An Austrian composer of the late Classical and early Romantic eras, Franz Schubert said, "Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife."

LEARN TO BE A FRIEND TO YOUR PARTNER 

One of the things you have to know is this: Partners who are friends learn how to live with each other even when it hurts.

In learning to be a friend to your partner, there are three basic things we have to take into consideration as friends.

1. Learn About Your Partner's Temperament. 

This is very important. The goal is to be a friend to your partner, not their teacher or judge; but their friend - someone who is interested in their welfare and willing to make them better people. 

If you don't learn more about your partner's temperament, you'll "fight" and misunderstand each other many times and wouldn't know how to make up again. 

But if you learn about their temperament, you can better understand them and reconnect with them anytime they disconnect from you. 

Saint Francis de Sales says, "A quarrel between friends, when made up, adds a new tie to friendship". 

Whether they're Sanguine, Melancholy, Phlegmatic or Choleric; study them so you could better understand them and be their trusted friend.  

2. Learn Your Partner's Hobbies.

Every partner has what makes them giggle. Look for that of your partner. Is it.... 

... singing, 

... playing keyboard, 

... reading, 

... cooking, 

... traveling, 

... watching football, 

... talking about politics, 

... talking about the things of God, etc. 

What do they love doing? Whatever is may be, make time and learn how to do it. Remember, you're just doing this for their sake. 

Charlotte Brontë remarks, “If we would build on a sure foundation in friendship, we must love our friends for their sakes rather than for our own.” 

Aside all his busy schedules, Dr. Myles Munroe therefore chose to learn how to enjoy cooking so he could stay at the kitchen and cook together with his wife. 

As you learn your partner's hobby and do it together with them, it connects you in a remarkable way and binds you together as best of friends. 

3. Learn Your Partner's Interests And Desires. 

Whatever they are interested in and have a desire to achieve, make time to learn more about it and offer them your suggestions and findings. This will help to improve their skills and enable them become better in that area. 

Whether in dating or marriage, you have to know where your partner is going and what you could do to help them get to their destination. 

Dr. Myles Munroe defines a friend as this: "A friend is anyone who can and will help you get to your destination." If you find what your partner is interested in or what their desired dreams are, do these;

i. ACCEPT them as qualified for their desire, dream and interest. Don't misjudge them. Don't discourage them. Believe in them. 

ii. ASK them questions about that desire, dream and interest. It sends them the signal that you truly care about them. A friend is someone who has your interest at heart. 

iii. ASSIST them to pursue their desire, dream and interest. Do it with them. Go with them to different places together. Support them. 

HOW FRIENDS BECAME LOVERS 

When Barack Obama and Michelle Obama were dating, Michelle Obama made time to intentionally go with her guy (Barack Obama) everywhere he goes to give a speech / talk so she could help him become better. 

It was during one of those moments that she finally concluded in her mind to marry Mr. Obama no matter what. 

She increased her affection for him when she learnt more about her guy's interests and dream of becoming President of United States. 

Watch the video below

Learning more to be your partner's friend, could actually keep you together forever. Put these lessons into practice and become best friends with your partner in dating and marriage. 

Thank you very much for your time. If you have any problem in your relationship, feel free to chat or call me for us to solve it together (0246666491). 

Kind regards, 

JOHN ARTHUR, 

AUTHOR | PRESIDENT, 

THE SCHOOL OF FRIENDSHIP. 

Share Your Comment, Question, or Problem In Your Relationship Here