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In a study of 125 couples, researchers found that many of the spouses became more similar in intelligence, perception, and motor skills as the years went by.
In addition, all of us have noticed that some couples, over a period of time, literally begin to look like each other.
Psychologists point out that in the happiest and strongest marriages, the spouses play not only the roles of lovers and partners, but also as best friends.
Since marriages begin with friendship which progresses into dating, it's imperative for us to learn how to build friendship with our boyfriends and girlfriends.
There are several ways, however, the first thing to note is what I would like us to consider in this piece. Note the following;
LOVE
"Partners who are friends love each other more as friends than as lovers." - John Arthur.
In your relationship with your partner in dating or courtship, yearn to be their friend. It is the greatest person you could be to them.
It may sound paradoxical to think the most important person to be to a partner in dating or courtship is a friend instead of being their fiance or fiancee.
We think of being a dating or courtship partner to them more than being a friend to them. For most of us, becoming more of a partner in relationship with them is more important than becoming a friend to them.
Instead of relating with our spouses as friends, we turn to relate with them with a preoccupation of the relationship we have with them.
So in effect, we don't do what we claim to do for them for the sake of our love for them on the basis of friendship (out of our free will), but on the basis of our relationship with them (by obligation).
Regulating relationships with a domination of an act of obligation instead of acts of the will, will diminish the reality of true love in relationships and increase the amplification of love by obligation.
A CHOICE OR A COMMAND
"Loving people by choice is more powerful and a greater way to love than loving them by a command or an obligation. Friends love by choice, lovers love by a command and obligation." - John Arthur.
One of the ways to love your partner in dating or marriage by being their friend is to let them know they're your friend.
Repeat it over and over again to them, that you're honoured to have them not only as a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife; but most importantly as best friends.
The first step in developing a friendship with someone you're already in a relationship with is to call them your "Friend".
The people you call friends will eventually become friends to you. Dr. Mike Murdock says, "What you keep hearing you eventually believe. What you keep hearing you eventually become."
This is why God kept calling Abraham His friend. He called Moses His friend and He called David a man after His own heart. Calling people your friend will not only help you to have them as your friends, but it also helps you to play the role of a friend in their lives.
CALL YOUR PARTNER YOUR FRIEND
Former President of United States, President Barack Obama described his wife after 25years of their marriage in the most remarkable way. Watch the video below:
Calling your partner your friend will drive you to play the role of a true friend in their lives. Whatever you call into existence, you become committed to sustain. Call your partner your friend; both privately and publicly.
“A true friend is someone who will always love you—the imperfect, the confused, the wrong you because that is what people are supposed to do.”– R.J.L.
Making your partner in dating or marriage become so much aware that your love for them is a result of your choice rather the fulfilment of obligations by the relationship you have with them will increase their self-value, self-esteem, and commitment to you.
Loving your partner in dating or marriage so much with the love of friendship is a greater form of love than loving them with the love of the relationship you have with them. Tell them, "I love you for being my best friend."