The 28th President of the United States, President Woodrow Wilson, said, "Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together."
President
Lincoln also added, "The better part of one's life consists of his
friendship."
The question
is: Why then do some best friends become worst enemies? Despite the goodness
and blessings of friendship, some people often go through negative and painful
experiences. WHY?
We'll Discuss 7 Reasons
1. ABSENCE OF GOD'S LOVE IN FRIENDSHIP,
COULD TURN SOME BEST FRIENDS INTO WORST ENEMIES.
"God's love is the cord that holds all great lasting
friendships together." - John Arthur.
If God's love is absent from our friendships, friends don't
become friends anymore; they turn into enemies and hurt one another. People
will hurt you in life. At the office, at school, at home and even at church.
What will help you to overcome all pain is the love of
God. Without it, you'll always repay evil for evil. Keep yourself in God's love
and you'll receive the grace to easily FORGIVE when some friends hurt you.
2. INTENSE COMPETITION WITH ANOTHER'S
ACHIEVEMENTS, COULD TURN SOME BEST FRIENDS INTO WORST ENEMIES.
"Competitive friends can become enemies.
Competition will make you view your friend as a threat
to your success instead of a friend. Back on campus, I visited one of my
professor friends, Prof. Christopher Okpoti who was then Dean of our Faculty.
In our conversation, he told me something that really
impacted my life. He said, "Life is not about competition; but completion
of your unique assignment." He explained that, he was vying as the Pro.
Vice Chancellor of the University. But he later withdrew.
I asked why, and he said, he realized one of his
friends from high school, who was a Professor at a different faculty, was also
vying for the same position. He added, he doesn't want the position to turn him
and his friend into enemies. So he withdrew.
"True friends never compete with each other.
You're not falling because your friend is succeeding.
No. Focus on what you do best and give your heart to it. No two birds have ever
collided in the sky. Be yourself. Avoid competition.
3. INTENSE COMPARISON WITH ANOTHER'S
SUCCESS, COULD TURN SOME BEST FRIENDS INTO WORST ENEMIES.
Comparison is the womb of false identity. It either
makes you inferior or feel superior. Both ways will limit your potentials.
Don't waste your uniqueness. Both salt and sugar have value.
Applaud your friends for their success. Help them to
go higher as you can. But never compare their success to yours. Comparison will
create jealousy, greediness and hatred.
Eventually, it will turn you into an enemy. It
happened to Lucifer. It happened to Absalom. Don't let it happen to you.
"Instead of seriously comparing yourself to your
friends, focus rather on what you could do best. Do it with all passion and
consistency no matter how slow or small.
The hare and the tortoise are different; the hare is very fast, but the tortoise is very slow. Yet both achieve great results in their uniqueness.
You have a place in this life, don't let comparison ruin you of the great potentials lying deep inside you. Stay in the center of your own expertise. Avoid comparison.
4. CONTINUOUS ILLOGICAL EXPECTATIONS OF
YOUR FRIENDS, COULD TURN SOME BEST FRIENDS INTO WORST ENEMIES.
"Having illogical expectations of your friends is
simply a sign of selfishness. It indicates greediness and an attitude of a
friend who is an opportunist.
You can have certain expectations of your friends, but
when it becomes illogical; they become the breeding grounds for
disappointments.
When your illogical expectations of your friends
become continuously unmet, you turn to harbour anger and bitterness in your
heart against them.
Do yourself a favour; let God be the source of all your expectations. Your friends are just humans like you. And as such cannot meet all your desires. Allow them, and accept their best for you. But always rest on God.
5. UNCEASING PUBLIC REBUKES, COULD TURN SOME BEST FRIENDS INTO WORST
ENEMIES.
Rebukes are like two-edged sword; they both damage and
develop. Rebuking some friends publicly could cut them off from you forever.
And cause them to rise against you. Others may take it cool.
Jesus rebuked Peter and also rebuked Judas. Peter
forgot about it and moved on. He was ok. But Judas harboured the pain and
shame and betrayed Him.
"Not every friend forgives easily.
See: if you always publicly shout at people and talk
about your friends or those you work with as if they're incompetent and cannot
do any good job, you'll create enemies around you. Stop it.
Don't let this be your habit. See the good in every bad situation. Bring out the best in people. Never criticize. Never condemn. Never complain. And you'll have loyal friends.
6.
DISCOVERIES OF HABITUAL CHARACTER ASSASSINATIONS, COULD TURN SOME BEST FRIENDS
INTO WORST ENEMIES.
"Friends
who are character assassins are very dangerous friends. They're wolves in sheep's clothing.
You walk
with them nicely, thinking they're your true friends. But they go about
gossiping about you and tarnishing your reputation.
If you have a habit of talking about your friends very badly behind their backs, stop it today. Nothing hides under the sun. When they get to know, your friendship may turn upside down.
If you can't say any good thing about your friends to others, then it's better to keep quite than say something bad. If you have friends who talk badly about their friends to you, avoid them. Friends who gossip to you about others, will gossip to others about you.
The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly." (Proverbs 18:8). Be a good friend who protects the image of their friends. Never be a character assassin. It'll turn your friends into enemies.
7.
HABITUAL COVETOUSNESS OF A FRIEND'S PROPERTY, COULD TURN SOME BEST FRIENDS INTO
WORST ENEMIES.
Every friend treasures what they have, no matter how
little. If you allow greediness to enter your heart and you habitually take
from your friends what belongs to them, you will end up turning your friendship
upside down.
"Never take from your friends what belongs to them." - John Arthur.
Whether it's opportunities at work, their girlfriends
or boyfriends, or even gifts and different connections.
Many best friends are no friends today because of this
singular reason. I know of friends who snatched their best friend's boyfriends
and girlfriends from them, who have now become enemies.
Be happy with what you have and make it the best it
could possibly be, and it will become so great you won't be covetous of what
your friends have.
"Allow your friends to have what they have and even
protect it for them.
But never take it away from them. Be content with what
you have and make it the best it could become. "Friendships are too precious to
lose." (Dr. Mike Murdock). Value your friends.
I hope this was helpful. Please share your comment. Ask your question. And let's get the conversation going.
Kind regards,
JOHN ARTHUR,
FRIENDSHIP COACH | AUTHOR,
THE SCHOOL OF FRIENDSHIP.
Click any of the following links to join us at The School Of Friendship to learn more about friendship.