"If you feel you are too busy for your friends or find yourself often thinking about how long it has been since you last contacted them, it is time to see where you can restructure your time and attention before your friends start slipping away." - James Impraim.
I would like us to go through a few reasons why some friends we make in school do not always remain in our lives.
1. YOU’RE NOT IN COLLEGE ANYMORE:
It is believed that one of the places we make a lot of friends is school (JHS, SHS, Colleges, University, etc.) but then once you graduate and you and your classmates get separated by jobs or time zones, you’ll likely lose some of your closet, and day-to-day friends.
Author Tina B. Tessina, PhD, a psychotherapist calls this a Natural Progression. What she meant is: it’s normal, you will lose some of your friends because one needs only a few friends to live a happy life, especially in the early years.
2. YOUR FRIENDS MAY COUPLE-UP:
“Once people partner up, they will naturally focus more of their attention on their partners and less on people who they deem distant friends,” says Dr. Flores.
I guess you’ve probably been there- one moment when you and your friend hang out all the time, but the next time they start dating someone, they suddenly disappear.
Not gone for good, but you see them less and less. They become closer to their significant other and start to hone in on a future with them.
3. YOUR INTERESTS MAY CHANGE:
According to Dr. Flores, “As one’s relationship and family continues to grow, those commitments and responsibilities take priority”.
"We often hear of friends drifting apart because their interests have changed." - James Impraim.
This means they are either focusing more on their partner and kids, having become closer to other friends, or having new values, among others.
The challenge is, if the two of you no longer have the same interests, however, your friendship may fade.
4. YOU MOVE, LEAVING MANY OF YOUR FRIENDS BEHIND:
“Long term friendships are wonderful and valuable, but if you don’t make constant connections, your group of friends may diminish due to relocation.” - Dr. Tina B. Tessina.
Moving is a big life change, not only with regard to place. According to researchers, a change in the social circles people easily have access to, is the largest factor in why people might let some friends go.
5. COMMUNICATION:
"A lack of communication is one of the biggest reasons friends fight and even sometimes end their friendship." - James Impraim.
Many friendships have been broken because of inconsistency or lack of communicating with friends, partners or family members ultimately leading to low morale.
Spending quality time together in friendships is difficult. With the demands of a career, family and personal obligations ever-present, friendship often becomes something that gets last-minute attention.
"If you feel you are too busy for your friends or find yourself often thinking about how long it has been since you last contacted them, it is time to see where you can restructure your time and attention before your friends start slipping away." - James Impraim.
I believe this writeup will help you tp give keen attention to your friendships, especially those you make or made in school. Let's stay connected at The School of Friendship for more.
Kind regards,
JAMES IMPRAIM,
MENTOR | SPEAKER,
THE SCHOOL OF FRIENDSHIP.