Many friendships do not end because of hatred or open conflict, but because of neglect, silence, and unexpressed value.
People drift away not always because they are offended, but because they no longer feel important.
To value a friend is to recognize their worth and to make that worth known through words, actions, and consistency. Friendship is not sustained by shared history alone; it is sustained by intentional appreciation and effort.
Where value is communicated, friendship grows. Where value is ignored, friendship fades.
BIBLICAL AND HISTORICAL EXAMPLES OF VALUED FRIENDSHIP
David and Jonathan
The friendship between David and Jonathan stands as a powerful biblical example. Jonathan, though a prince and heir to the throne, openly valued David. He defended him, protected him from danger, and committed himself to David even when it came at great personal cost.
Jonathan did not hide his loyalty; he demonstrated it consistently through sacrifice and commitment. Their bond endured because value was not assumed—it was shown.
You can read more about The Friendship of David and Jonathan here.
Abraham Lincoln and Joshua Speed
Before Lincoln became President of the United States, he struggled with deep emotional distress and uncertainty. During that season, Joshua Speed—his close friend and roommate—stood by him.
He listened, encouraged him, and provided emotional stability. Even after life separated them physically, they remained connected through letters and mutual respect.
Lincoln later acknowledged the impact Speed had on his life, proving that valued friendships often shape destinies.
THREE WAYS TO VALUE FRIENDS AND KEEP THEM
1. COMMUNICATION – Express Value Clearly
Communication is the foundation of every lasting friendship. Appreciation that is not expressed is easily mistaken for indifference.
True friends make their value known—not assumed. Words have the power to affirm, strengthen, and reassure. If you want your friends to feel valued, you must clearly express how much they matter to you. Talking about it makes them feel special and strengthens the bond.
Personal Reflection:
During the later part of 2025, one of my friends sent me a message expressing how important I am to her. She spoke about how my presence had contributed immensely to her personal development and how I doubled her strength during tough times.
When I read those words, I felt appreciated, encouraged, and strengthened. Quietly, I decided to do even more for her in 2026.
When you let people know how important they are to you, you give them the strength to become even more important to you.
Appreciation does not weaken relationships—it deepens them.
Task on Communication
- Send a voice note, message, or handwritten note to one friend this week
- Clearly state why they matter to you
- Be specific about moments or qualities you appreciate
- Make this a monthly habit, not a one-time event
2. CARE – Show Value Through Action and Giving
Valuing a friend goes beyond words; it includes visible confirmation through action. Gifts are not about price—they are about thought, sacrifice, and intentionality.
Care moves friendship from intention to evidence. Words alone are not enough; actions confirm what the heart truly believes.
Personal Experience:
On my previous birthday, my friend Patricia bought me a Study Bible. Two weeks before my birthday, she asked what I wanted and requested the cost. When I told her it was GHS 650, she simply said, “Okay,” and sent the money within minutes.
That single act spoke louder than many speeches. It reassured me of how much she treasures our friendship.
True friends don’t just say they care; they show it.
“Where there is love, there is giving.”
“People may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.” (Maya Angelou).
3. COMMITMENT – Keep Friends If You Truly Value Them
Commitment is the decision to remain present even when circumstances change. Many friendships fade when convenience disappears, but true friendships endure because commitment refuses to quit.
Anything you do not value, you naturally ignore. If you make no effort to keep your friends, nothing proves that you truly value them. If their absence does not disturb you, then their presence may not mean much to you.
Valued friends are pursued, protected, and prioritized. Distance, time, and challenges test friendships, but commitment preserves them.
Do not undermine friends who make efforts to keep you. You may be the only healthy friend they have today. Abandoning them may cost them more than you realize.
A SPIRITUAL PERSPECTIVE ON VALUE
Jeremiah 29:13 says, "You will find me when you seek me.” (NLT)
God never neglects those who value Him. When you give God the highest place in your life, He gives you His best in return.
Value attracts presence; both with God and with people.
If you truly value your friends, you will have them for long; if not forever.
And when you give God your highest value, He promises never to leave you.
God deserves your highest priority.
Your friends deserve your intentional care.
Thank you for reading. If you have questions, kindly ask in the comment section, and let's chat. Stay connected.
Kind regards,
JOHN ARTHUR,
AUTHOR & SPEAKER.
Check the following links to buy copies of my books.
1. The Friendship Of Samson And Delilah: Why You Should Avoid Bad Friends
2. The Friendship Of David And Jonathan: Why You Should Have True Friends
3. BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND: How To Love Yourself And Fulfill Your Purpose
4. Dating And Friendship: A New Model For A Lasting Love Relationship
5. BECOMING TRUE FRIENDS IN A TURBULENT WORLD (Friendship Today - Vol. 1)
6. CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS, DON'T LET YOUR FRIENDS CHOOSE YOU
