It is okay to sometimes experience misunderstandings between you and your friend but this should not last for long. Yes, misunderstandings that occurs in friendship is not a problem but our inability to resolve such misunderstandings is. Friendship without misunderstandings can really be a friendship of pretense.
Misunderstandings form a part of the friendship process. Friendship goes through the process formation, deformation (brokenness) and reformation. This piece hits much on the process of reformation. The process of reformation is where we try our best to mend our broken friendship.
The best way to fix friendship is to apologize.
I beseech you to restore your broken friendship not because of what those friends can do for you, but for who they are. Even if people cannot be your closest friends, try as much as possible to live peaceably with them all because time changes.
Mend that broken friendship. It pays nothing to say “I am sorry”. These words have restored broken friendships than any other words. The moment you say these magical words, an unusual great joy comes into your heart.
I know it sometimes takes strength and courage to be able to say you are sorry. But doing so demonstrate humility; a quality that will naturally draw others to you. Apologizing does not always mean you are wrong. It means you value the friendship than your ego.
It is for this reason that I write this to advise you to mend that broken friendship. “To err is human”. Anger is the punishment you give to yourself for the wrong that people do against us.
How long shall you punish yourself for the wrong that people do against you? Sometimes we ignore our friends just because of that wrong thing they did against us. This is termed as friendship halo effect.
True friendship is not built on a halo effect. It is built on love. It is based on our ability to love others despite their weaknesses.
Finally, this is my advice to you. Respect is a premise to sustaining friendship. My mentor, an epitome of friendship, Mr. John Arthur, once said “Familiarity is the seed of mistreatment in friendship”. Familiarity breeds disrespect in friendship.
Familiarity is not friendship. Friendship is deeper than familiarity. When you make all the jokes and laughter with your friend, try as much as possible to maintain that maximum respect. In doing this, you will build strong friendships.
Once again, learn to say sorry even if you are right. Saying it does not make you a “fool”. It just means you are matured. It means you value the friendship more than being right.
Thank you for reading this nugget. I know you will put this advice into practice. The practice is as important as the reading. Now that you have read this, if you practice it, you will enjoy the fruit of true friendship.
Kind regards,
SAMUEL E. ABBUAH
+233 24 075 2522
SOF STUDENT
ASHANTI REGIONAL CAMPUS
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