JAFA 4
It's your right to choose whom to bring close to you in relationships. Not every friend must be close to you. It is your right to choose into your life the kinds of friends that are necessary for achieving the dreams of your heart.
Every student and entrepreneur has the right to choose his friends
The will of friendship has been given to every human being on earth. This will also implies, you can be very close to people without having any friendship with them. You can be related to people by blood, like your biological brothers and sisters and your parents, but if you don't exercise your will of friendship you cannot be in friendship with them.
Relationship is not friendship
Just being related to people doesn't make them your friends
Relationship has nothing to do with friendship
Any kind of relationship you can think about, whether a seller-buyer relationship, teacher-student relationship, marriage relationship, a family relationship, an agency relationship, a father-child relationship, a pastor-congregant relationship, or whatever, none of these relationships create or imply the existence of friendship.
Friendship is intentional. Friendship is not a miracle; it's a reaction. Friendship is a response. Friendship has to be built. Friendship is deliberate. It can occur in a moment, but it doesn't imply it's existence. It demands attention. It takes time to build it.
If you don't understand this you will easily be disappointed when people you thought were you friends, because of your relationship with them, refuse to be friendly to you or treat you as a friend.
You will open up your life to people who don't qualify to be opened up to, if you don't understand that there is a difference between friendship and relationship. You will draw people close to even when they don't qualify to be your friends.
This has destroyed many entrepreneurs and businessmen. Despite their deepest desire to achieve uncommon goals, they unknowningly become bonded to people they never thought could disappoint, destroy and betray them.
The reason to this effect is simply due to the assumption that everyone we are related to is automatically our friend. Most entrepreneurs who considered their clients as their friends just because they buy from them without properly investing in the friendship, have lost people who could have become loyal customers when they couldn't meet their needs and preferences.
I have seen people, my own mother including, who assumed those they transact business with as their friends and ended up losing huge sums of money. They usually open up to people so much than they are supposed to do.
"Friendship is like a bank account; you cannot continue to withdraw from it without making deposits" - Unknown. Being related to a customer as someone who patronizes your products, doesn't necessarily make him your friend.
Being related to a business partner, doesn't necessarily make him your friend. Working with a boss in the same working environment, doesn't imply he is your friend. You can stay in the same environment with someone and still be thousand miles away from him in spirit.
If we don't have a clearer picture of the right understanding of friendship, we may end up concluding that everyone we come into contact with is our friend. Aristotle says, "A friend to all is a friend to none". "If you say everyone is your friend, it means you don't have a friend" - John Arthur.
Friendship is intentionally decisive. Friendship is not an assumed relationship. Friendship is not automatic. Friendship is not a general relationship. Friendship is a specific, and special relationship. Friendship is knowing who really your friend is and who really is not your friend, but a different person to you.
It is when we all, including the entrepreneurs and students of our days, understand the clearest distinction between friendship and relationship that we can make it to our definite goals and dreams. No entrepreneur can truly succeed without friendship.
Thank you.
JOHN ARTHUR
+233 (0) 246 666 491
PRESIDENT & FOUNDER
THE SCHOOL OF FRIENDSHIP
GHANA - WEST AFRICA
GET MY BOOK: WHO IS YOUR FRIEND?
